Here We Go Again...The Chinook Shawl...

One could imagine after the last shawl I did I would want to go a good long while before picking up another shawl.  Shawls are big, long, time consuming projects and those last few repeats are pretty much penance.  The cast off at the end seems to take an eternity.  One would think I'd be on to smaller, more manageable projects, like mittens for winter, socks, or hats.  Heaven knows I could always use a few more berets!  I'm addicted to those things.  It would only seem logical to take a break from long and tedious.

Yet here I am, once again diving into the shores of a shawl.  Right now I'm in the early stages, that new romance.  It's those brief, fast and furious knitting, those rows that fly off the needles with reckless abandon and the insatiable desire for nothing but that project.  Isn't that the way all new projects go, all romances for that matter? In the beginning it's all craziness and passion.  Then, over time the passion, shiny, and new fades, and then you're left with the long, hard slog for the duration of the relationship.  When everything is over you look back upon what you've done, and more often than not you're looking back in joy at the beauty of it all, and then take it with you into whatever you do next.

Well, here I am, fresh off the high from finishing the previous shawl and casting another one on.  It's like the success of having the first one come off the needles helped me forget about all the craziness that comes with the long wait and I'm just left with the shiny and new.

No, relationships aren't it at all.  It's pregnancy.  When you first find out you're pregnant, most women are overjoyed.  They're excited for their new life, and for the next few weeks they can do nothing but focus on that little creature inside of them.  Then as time goes on, the pregnancy starts to wear on you.  You're starting to feel uncomfortable and tired all the time.  Man, babies take forever to be born!  Then as you reach those last final days you're begging every moment for it to end.  Just come out already!  Meet the world!  Stop torturing your mama!  Then labor starts.  It's that long, hard slog, but the finish line is in sight.  Then the baby is there, and before long you're looking at your significant other thinking that was so worth it, and now you want to have another one.  You forget about how long and hard the pregnancy was, and how painful childbirth is.  All you see is that there's this precious baby and you want another one.

That's what shawl knitting is, but unlike having babies, with a shawl you can jump right back into one.  Very few people consider that they've already got two shawls in their closet.  Two are enough.  Unlike kids, you could have so many shawls that they're coming out your ears and they're not too much of a problem.  Well...maybe storing them...  Unlike kids you don't have to feed them or raise them.  They don't require much care.  This makes them perfectly ideal.  And, unlike kids, if you find you have to many, or absolutely want one that you can't justify having, you can always give it away!  Also, unlike with kids, you don't have to wonder what they're going to turn out like.  Most times you have a pattern and you just have to follow along.  The pattern comes with a picture of the end result, so you've got everything to know, with some minor possibilities for change here and there, exactly what the outcome should be.

So, here I am, sitting with my little basket of yarn, my previous shawl in my hand as I'm about to toss it on top of the basket.  It looked so pretty, that yarn.  It was so tempting.  How could I resist casting on?  It all just looked so irresistable there, so beautiful.  I couldn't help but touch it.  Once I had it in my hands I couldn't help but want to work with it.  It is, after all, a logical conclusion.  The soft yarn in my hands, I tell you, it was truly an impossibility to resist!

Into the basket went the shawl.  Out of the basket came the yarn.  I pulled out the correct needles and away I went.  The cast on was quick as ever and I was into the rows, listening to podcasts as I went.  It seemed easy enough.  I put it down for the night, determined that first thing the next morning I would pick it up and continue where I left off.  This shawl would be done in no time if I had my way!

That's when the trouble started.  I realized that my count was off.  All the other sections had five stitches.  Why did this one have four?  It took me a while to figure out exactly where the mistake had been made, but I did it!  Several rows back I forgot to yarn over and that's where all the trouble started!  At first I tried to pick up the stitch and work it through to the current working row.  I wanted to preserve my beautiful shawl!  Unfortunately, that just turned into even more of a mess of things.  Next I went at it, tinking back to try and keep the shawl together.  I realized it was going to take forever.  I had to tink back almost ten rows!

Defeated, I gave up.  I decided to rip it all out and start over again.  It was depressing, but I knew with all the yarn overs and all of that I wasn't a talented enough knitter to rip back and salvage it without a life-line, something I've never had the brains to use.

Thankfully, a miracle happened!  The yarn somehow naturally preserved the cast on and the row after it!  I was able to save a little bit of time after all!  There was one less step to catch back up.

I picked up the stitches and ran with it, this time slower and more carefully.  I counted everything as though I somehow thought the count was going to escape me.  It was all carefully, slowly, and methodically done.  As if I'm not a slow enough knitter in the first place, now I've got to deal with even slower knitting formed of paranoia that I'm going to screw it up again.

So, here I was, in love with my shawl again, enamored with my shawl again.  Again the stitches began to fly off my needles, at their turtle-slow pace, that is.  I'm well on my way.  The only question that remains is how long it's going to take me to finish this one.  I'm just glad it's on size 8 needles this time...and those are going to be quicker to knit with, and break much less easily.

The Shawl Is Done! Well...Mostly....

So, the incredible journey of my shawl is complete.  No longer do I need to struggle with the long burdensome rows that took on average an hour to complete.  No longer must I look at it and think, "When, oh when will you be done!"  Now all I have to do is look at it and wonder how I'm going to manage to block it...and when I'm going to feel motivated to weave in all the ends.  At least that part's easy.  And if I could ever get use of the bed, I could block it out on there pretty quick.  Unfortunately, the bed is being taken up...which I'm not happy about...but I digress...

Anyhow, after this whole incredible journey the shawl is finally done!  I'm finally able to say that I'll be able to wear it!  It's not going to take long for the shawl to be blocked out with all the ends taken care of.  It's not going to take long before I can wrap it around my shoulders and show off it's beauty.  Unfortunately, it just might be a while before the weather calls for it.

I definitely understand the thinking I had.  If I knit the shawl going into fall, it should be done by winter.  It seems like a fantastic idea.  Unfortunately, I overestimated my knitting skills.  I didn't think about exactly how long it would take to knit that shawl, and exactly how many hours I could dedicate to it.  I didn't think about the needles breaking.  I didn't think about most of what got in the way.

I've learned my lesson.  From now on I should only knit shawls I'll need by winter in the summer and spring.  That way I have a prayer of having it done by fall!  Then I should have a couple months before I need to start thinking about wearing it for winter, and if disaster strikes?  Well, I've got some wiggle room.

Two Rows and a Cast-Off Away!!!

I'm almost there on this infernal shawl!  As the title kind of gives away, I'm two rows and a cast-off away from being finished.  That means I'm almost there!  I'll get this shawl done sooner or later.  It's been a journey, but I'm into the home stretch.  I just can't wait until I'm finally done with it!

It's been quite a journey with this shawl.  I've been through so much with it.  I started it with friends and it seemed to cruise along.  Then I put it down for a while due to stress, and back it came, my faithful companion as always.  I worked on it until I had a problem with the first needle.  Knit Picks was great in sending me a new set, but it went to the wrong address, so I had to wait.  Eventually I decided to pick it up again, getting a new set of needles at the local yarn shop.  I love that place and it really pleases me that they now carry Knit Picks stuff!  I might just have to start buying all of my Knit Picks stuff there, needles, cables, all of that.  Now if only they would carry the yarn!  Actually, I don't terribly care for the yarn so much, as the shawl kits.  I don't know how I ended up on this whole shawl kit kick.

At this point, I have no idea how I'm going to block my shawl.  It's so big that I might be able to block it on the bed, if no one is going to be sitting or laying on the bed for a good long while.  That might just work.  In all honesty, I just need to suck it up, get some blocking pads, some blocking pins, and be prepared for big projects like this.  With our new baby gate I can keep the kids out of the living room long enough to block the shawl, which means I'll definitely have a way to do it!

I'm just so excited to see this shawl done!  I almost wish I still had my natural hair color too.  I look so good in earth tones when I've got my natural brown hair.  The shawl I'm making after this is earth tones too.  I can't wait to see them all done up!  They're going to be beautiful!  Now I just need to get some garments for my wardrobe to match.  Good thing jeans and black go with everything...

I Love Him...but He Can't Touch My Knits!

I love my boyfriend, I really do.  He has his moments, but what man doesn't.  I've come to the conclusion that it's part of the male condition.  They just don't think sometimes.  They throw tantrums.  They yell.  That's just how they deal with things.  However, when I'm about ready to have a meltdown, he's almost always there to keep me from falling apart too badly.

Unfortunately, this is where the story gets sad.  Remember how I was making that entrelac hat?  Well, I finally finished it.  I was so proud of myself.  The end of the pattern was a nightmare.  The hat just didn't want to come together the way it should.  I was pretty miserable.  I couldn't wait until it was done so I could start wearing it.

Of course, I did finish it.  I wore it a pretty good deal.  My boyfriend thought it was cute enough, though, I have to admit, it didn't match anything I had.  Still, I was going to wear it until the end of time.  I'd made it.  It was my first entrelac project and I adored it.  It lived on the floor beside the bed so I could scoop it up and throw it on.  Yes, it was a little too big, since it was made with the wool dreads in mind, but I didn't have them anymore.  Even so, it was perfect and made me happy.  I kind of liked to over-sized feel of it.

One day, unbeknownst to me, my darling boyfriend pulled the laundry together, completely forgetting that I have items that need to be hand washed only.  He threw the hat in there and it went through the wash and the dryer.  This hat went from being just a bit too big to being absolutely massive...as in, out of control massive.  I can't wear the hat anymore.  I don't think I can find a way to make that hat wearable by anyone!  It just exploded!  The hat band is almost twice it's original size!

I have no idea whether it was the bamboo yarn or the washing process.  I don't know what did it to my beautiful hat, but when I realized it, I almost cried.  I loved my hat.  I spent so many hours working on it!  It was absolutely traumatizing.

This isn't the first time my love has destroyed my beloved knit goods.  He felted the outfit I made for my son's first day of life.  He felted a pair of longies too.  It's frustrating.  It's infuriating!  I've come to the conclusion that I need to hide my knitting come laundry day, at least until I can get a washer and dryer so I can start doing it all myself!

Zephyr Needles and the Fall/Winter Shawl

Okay, I'm finally back on track with knitting.  This shawl has been put on hold more times than I can count.  This time the needle broke again and it wasn't my fault.  I've come to learn with these needles, I've got to be careful with them.  If I get too angry and rough with them, they break.  I think a set of wooden needles would be a little bit easier to work with, but I love my acrylic zephyr needles.  They're so nice on my poor hands.

This shawl is going to be the death of me.  I'm finding I need to bribe myself through pattern repeats in order to get anything done.  If I do a couple pattern repeats, I can write.  If I do a couple pattern repeats, I can go chat online with a friend for ten minutes.  If I do a couple pattern repeats, I can have a snack.  It's horrible to think of the way I have to bribe myself to get through just a couple more patterns of this infernal shawl!

I feel bad saying that.  The start of this shawl was so fantastic!  Granted, it was almost a year ago now that I started, or at least the better part of a year.  I spent all my time working away at it, without a care in the world, like I had nothing better to do with my time.  While homeschooling my kids, I knit.  While talking with my room mates, I knit.  It didn't matter what I was doing, I had that shawl, and it seemed to be positively flying off the needles.

Somewhere around the last couple repeats of the falling leaves chart I started to realize I was getting bored with the pattern.  I tried to convince myself that I could get through it.  I would be on to a new pattern soon enough.  I could make it through this long, hard slog!  It seemed to be enough to keep me going, because I made it out of the falling leaves chart, and on to the snowflakes chart.

The next two charts worked up fairly quickly.  The fields of blue for the snowflakes chart had enough variety that it was challenging and engaging.  I have to admit, more than a few times I just gave up on making sure the pattern was perfect because I just got confused.  It's not flawless, but I don't think anyone will look that close to notice.  There's a lot of repeats of that chart across.

The snowdrifts chart was like a little piece of heaven.  It was simple, easy, and delightful.  It reminded me of the feather and fan shawls I made for my daughter years back.  The alternating colors kept it interesting enough and it seemed to make the pattern fly by that much quicker.  Once that was over it was all of eleven rows to the finish.  I was convinced I would be done in no time.

Of course, my needle had to break on the first row of the icicle chart.  My house mate moved my knitting back to the floor, then forgot it was there and tripped over it.  He heard something snap and the needle broke.  He didn't have the heart to look at the damage, so I didn't know until a day later, after having moved my knitting bag around.  Thankfully the damage wasn't too bad and I was able to salvage it pretty well.  It wasn't exactly perfect through the section dropped off the broken needles, but I could work with it.  I think if it had been in any other section I would have cried.

So here I am, two rows and about a third of the way through the third row and I'm realizing what hell this is.  The chart is so incredibly long across that it's painful.  I keep finding myself thinking, "Can't I just cast off now?  It'll look fine with a short gray section.  I'm sure it will be fine!"  Of course, knowing the kind of perfectionist I am, maybe no one else would know, but anyone who looked at the pattern would know instantly that the last section was far too shallow.  I couldn't have that.  I have to finish it out to the end.  Of course, now I'm realizing just what a slog is!

You would think this would put me off of shawl knitting.  I'd be staring at the new shawl, finally all balled up and in it's box, waiting to be started.  The yarn looks so enticing, but I'd know exactly what I was in for.  I would put it off for a couple of years until I got to the point where I'd have the patience to sit through those long last rows, when I could work the shawl from start to finish.  Instead, I'm overjoyed at the next shawl and can't wait to pull it out of the bag and cast it on.  I have to remind myself that I'm not allowed to cast on another shawl until this one is finished.  I find myself lusting over other shawls.  There's the shipwreck shawl on Knitty that I adore.  There's another Seasons shawl on Knit Picks.  I find myself wanting more and more to knit more shawls.  They're the perfect garment.  You can wrap them over any garment for a little extra warmth, and no matter what you do, they always make a classy accessory.  I'm becoming a shawl addict.

Of course, in order to have these shawls, in order to wear them, I have to actually finish them.  That means I need to take enough time out of my busy life to work on these endless rows that seem to take an eternity.  I have to work through the long, challenging portions at the end.  And then, when all is said and done...I still need to figure out where to block them...

The Tragedy of Knit Picks and my Shawl

I'm finally back at it, the Fall/Winter shawl by Knit Picks.  I was beginning to think I'd never pick it up again, but, sure enough, it called to me.  I finally replaced the broken needle at the yarn shop and had to start off where I left off.  I was determined I'd get through it this time.  There wasn't that much left!

It wasn't long before I hit my next stand-still.  I broke a needle again, and then I needed to wait for another set of replacements.  Thankfully when I broke the next needle I still had one on hand.  Knitting with thin needles when I'm stressed is apparently a bad idea.  I hadn't even thought size 5 was all that thin!  Apparently it really is and I just didn't know it.  It didn't help that the infernal field of blue just didn't want to be finished.  The first couple rows of the gray are riddled with problems as well, but at this point, I don't care!  It's too much work to rip out and fix so I just made do and moved on.  Who's going to notice anyway?  I'm just going to be glad to get this project finished with!  It's certainly taken me long enough, you know?

Today I was back to listening to Craft Lit while knitting away.  Now that I'm on to the snow drifts portion I'm feeling pretty confident in my ability to finish this shawl some time this year, possibly even some time this season. I'm about half way through the chart and feeling pretty good about it.  The pattern is a very simple feather and fan kind of thing and is working up pretty quickly, well, quickly if you consider exactly how far of a distance that is to knit across.  I can knit a whole hour at this point and not make it end to end when I'm working in pattern!  The straight knitting and purling between pattern rows seems like endless, mindless torture, but I know if I don't pay attention I'll end up doing something crazy with this very fine yarn and ruin it all.  This shawl has got me focusing more than I have on any other project to date.

Of course, what happens next?  The cable on the cable needle breaks!  It broke right at the point where it's joined to a cable extender and I had to pick up a bunch of the dropped stitches.  I'm actually glad I'm at the portion of the pattern I'm in or I think I might have lost my mind.  At least during this section the stitches were easy enough to pick up.  It won't be long before I'm mixing that pale gray with the midnight, then diving in to the icicle pattern for a brave and daring finish, so I have to remind myself I'm in the home stretch.  This little setback can't hold me up forever.  I know I have some other cables laying around somewhere!

In all of this I think I'm learning something.  I know I try to paint every project as a lesson, but in this case it's not just about technique.  I've had to have a lot of patience in this project.  I've had to let go of my sense of perfectionism or I would never finish this whole thing.  I doubt I'd be as far along as I am!  I also had to accept the problems that occur when things go wrong, like needles and cables breaking.  Now that I'm about twenty or so rows away from finishing, I'm feeling pretty good about this project.  It's not exactly perfect, but with the amount of yarn and the number of hours put into it, I'm looking at it and thinking how it was definitely worth it.  Once it's all blocked out that shawl is definitely going to be something I'm proud of.

Process Knitting Versus Product Knitting

I've never really much known the difference between product knitting and process knitting.  I mean, it's easy to say that for some knitters are all about the process while caring little about the end product.  Other knitters care more about the end result than the process itself.  I'm not sure I fit in with either of those categories.  Maybe I'm somehow lost between the two.

I love the process of knitting in most cases, but sometimes I really get bored.  I know my work in progress pile will honestly never get finished if I haven't finished them yet.  In one case, yeah, I broke my needle, so I had to wait to replace it.  That's a good reason for exception.  However, once it's been put down, I may as well call it forgotten for the rest of time.

Don't get me wrong, there are pieces I do eventually go back and finish.  There's a hat I had stuffed into hibernation for near forever.  I'd tossed aside a blanket for a while and eventually pulled it out again to finish it.  I do like going through every once in a while to rediscover old projects that have been forgotten.  It's refreshing to revive them.  They don't seem to be as painfully boring then, especially if I'd been doing the same repetitive pattern for what seemed like forever.  My fall/winter seasons shawl by Knit Picks is a perfect example.  I remember looking at that shawl, praying for the point I could finish knitting that stupid falling leaves pattern and move on to the next chart.  By the time I was up to twenty-two repeats across and had already worked through five ever expanding layers of that blasted chart, it's not surprising I was sick of knitting it.  It just got repetitive.  Going back at that point is refreshing.  It's like starting over new again.

Even so, I do have to be honest with myself.  The reason I knit is for the finished product.  I really can't wait to have it done so I can wear the project around and show it off.  It's something I'm proud of and I want the whole world to fawn over it.  I love those moments when people mention how beautiful things I made are and ask where I got it, or if I made it myself.  I have to admit, when people ask where I got it, that's the best moment.  It's so satisfying to say, "Oh, I made it."  I toss it out there so casually, as though it took me no time to make, as if it didn't take hours on end of cursing as that stupid pattern tripped me up.

I have to say, knitting a shawl has taught me one thing.  when you're knitting three rows at nearly three hundred stitches across each row the idea of tinking back a couple of rows to fix it is all the more unappealing.  I'm not a fan of frogging back unless I have a life line because I don't have confidence in picking up my stitches in pattern.  I'm too afraid of screwing it up more.  As a result I find myself finding ways to leave it or "fix it" so that only someone truly inspecting the details can notice.  I justify this in reminding myself of something I heard once about Persian rug makers.  The makers of oriental rugs always deliberately include one mistake in their rugs, no matter how flawless the rest of it might be.  They do this because no one can create something perfect unless they are God.  Because of this, they have to honor God and always leave one small mistake as evidence that they recognize they are only mortal.  I guess that's what the little flaws in my knitting are, signs that, just like everyone else, I'm mortal.

In truth, I have to wonder if I could be considered a product knitter.  I don't have a huge list of UFOs.  Those that I do have are simply because I realized that the project simply didn't fit my needs and wouldn't get used.  What's the point in making something if it will never get used?  I suppose I could always give it away to someone who would appreciate it, but the idea of that breaks my heart.  I like having something at the end of it all that I'll wear or use.  There's really something to be said for useful things.

Perhaps this has to do with my whole thing with clutter as of late.  Our apartment has very little storage space.  The storage space we do have is filled with Magic cards, clothing we're holding on to for one of my kids to grow into, dance costumes, and a yarn stash.  I suppose some day we'll upgrade in space.  I'd love to have a four bedroom so each of our kids can have their own room.  A five bedroom would be even nicer so each kid could have their own room and I could still have an office, but for now that's just dreaming.  Now we need to think on conserving space, and probably getting more useful furniture, like a couple of dressers for my bedroom!  We've been spending a lot of time downsizing and decluttering over the past few years, so I can't justify making things that really aren't going to be used.  I only want stuff in my house that has purpose, that's useful.

A lot of people seem to think useful items are very limiting.  When I tell people I tend to keep my crafting to useful things I generally get the response, "So you only knit sweaters, socks, and hats then, huh?"  Well, for the most part that's true.  I mostly knit things that we can wear, but that doesn't mean I don't like home decor items.  As we get more organized and less cluttered I'm finding that I like to sprinkle our empty spaces with a few nice things to decorate.  I'm starting to find that I like seasonal decorations.  I love to have things I can put up, hang on the walls, and set out on display.  I get jealous of those beautiful houses with all matching furniture in each room, living room sets, a matching dining room set complete with a hutch to store the china.  I love matching bedroom sets and would love to have all of my rooms decorated from matching furniture to having sheets, blankets, and curtains that all coordinate.  I'd love to have art on every wall, decorative vases with flowers in them, and other nice things.  However, my knitting has been pretty limited to useful things.  I like things that I can wear and show off, and I honestly don't have enough people over to make it work decorating my house all that much.  Of course, if my house were beautifully decorated, coordinated, and lovely I would probably have a lot more people over, even in the neighborhood I live in!

One of these days I'm going to break through my financial barrier with knitting and make a real investment.  I look forward to the day when I can drop over a hundred dollars in yarn just to make myself a nice sweater.  I've already got my eyes on a few nice sweaters that don't match my style at all, but I love them.  I think they would look flattering on me, even if I don't tend to dress nice enough to wear those sorts of things on a regular basis.  I think if I ever made myself a beautiful sweater I'd have to run right out and get pants or a skirt and a shirt or blouse that would go with it well.  I'd probably have to look for a cute beret or something to match with it.  Yes, I like to be coordinated like that as well.  Perhaps I should start smaller and knit sweaters for my kids first!

Then again, I'm also the kind of person who will only knit each project once.  Once I've made something, that's it.  I'm done.  I don't use that pattern again.  I might do it under the right circumstances for something cute like a mother/daughter project, but even then that's something that I can make in two different sizes, which makes it different.  I like knitting projects that are going to be challenging as simple knitting tends to bore me.  I'm a little afraid that one day I'm going to find I've got nothing left to knit because I will have done everything that could possibly challenge me, no matter how crazy that might sound.

From the way it looks, I still can't tell if I'm a process knitter or a project knitter.  Perhaps I'm a bit of both, or maybe I just don't understand the terminology all that well yet.  I'll admit it.  I'm still kind of new at this.  I haven't made all that much yet.

Of course, I'm feeling inspired for sweaters right now.  Maybe I'll go check out Knit Picks, Knitty, and some of my other favorites to see what they've got to offer this time of year.  While I'm sure there won't be many sweaters coming into summer, I'm always curious as to what's new out there!